i love bob’s burgers
so it turns out i can’t legally change my cats name to “princess fuckboi”. not because it’s illegal, but because i lost all his paperwork when i moved. he’s not even technically my cat anymore, he’s just some neutered street cat that lives with me.
I will pay you $175 to sit in my bath tub full of ramen noodles wearing a bathing suit
I will not be home, nor will anyone else while you do this.
I will give you the keys while we meet, and you will go to my apartment thereafter.
It will require a 30 minute soak.
The noodles will be cooked and therefore slippery.
Do not bring any sauce. I will season the sauce after I get home prior to dinner.
The American collegiate system in one gif set
the saddest part is that this isn’t even really a joke
I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”
These will never not be funny
"Fast and CURIOUS”
a lot of these are Netflix’s way of replacing movies they don’t have and I find that hilarious
i have more followers than people at my school